road kill

"Thou shall not kill"

Nobody wants to be known as a killer (I hope). It's not something you would necessarily be bragging about or something to be proud of. Of course, it depends on what you're killing and the reasons behind it. Killing humans well that's what we'd call murder and not what my focus is on tonight.

I want to talk about those shameful deaths one is responsible for... on the road.  Haha. I hear it all the time "you're a bad driver" and well I've come to terms with it. However, I have no speeding tickets or accidents on my record so props to me. (Let's hope I didn't jinx it). Anyways, off the record I do have a killing record. 😞 Once you tell it many times, I becomes a funny story but still a sad one to tell. I remember driving with a friend once and out of nowhere I hear a thud on my windshield. A LOUD thud. Turns out a bird had crashed into my car. I didn't want to believe it but sure enough when I made a u-turn, a helpless bird was lying on the ground. I felt so guilty even though it was it's own fault for crashing into me right?

Now, today I was driving to work around 6am. The roads were clear and lonely and I was half asleep not really mentally present.  All of a sudden.... I went off the road and crashed into a tree! Just kidding. Como dice mi mom, ni Dios lo quiera. 😉 Anyways, up ahead of me I saw a toad, a big toad, hopping on in the middle of the road. I thought it was kinda cute. Its not a sight you see every day. Bunnies, deer and coyotes are more common. So I kept driving and all of a sudden.... THUD! Yes, I ran it over. I looked in the rearview mirror and sure enough there was no hopping toad on the road. I continued on to work saddened by this toad who would no longer live. Its life suddenly stopped as it strolled down the street. I was really disturbed. I was hoping to find some comfort on the drive home hoping it was just injured and not dead. But, not everybody gets a happily ever after. When I drove by all I saw was a pile of red insides scattered all over the road. It really was heartbreaking to see. I felt guilty and responsible for such an awful death with its scattered remains.

R I P dear toad.
I'm very sorry.

Happy Anniversary!!

8 years ago.... I gave my life to the Lord. It was a beautiful Sunday; Sunday May 20th, 2007, to be exact. Where does the time go? It's crazy knowing that I've been serving my God for nearly a DECADE!

How long will you serve Him?
    For all of my days
How long will you love Him?
    Forever
Is someone forcing you to go into the water?
   Nobody.

It hasn't always been an easy road to take but it definitely has been worth it. God has never stopped embracing me in love and showing me his greatness. I remember having doubts about such a wonderful decision. I knew it was the best decision to take but I felt I had taken it too early. I doubted my timing but those were just pointless thoughts. Thoughts meant to stray me from my path and to doubt my Savior but I have received much confirmation through out my years knowing that it was the perfect timing; it was God's timing. & we all know that God's timing is always PERFECT!

I praise God for rescuing me and for thinking of me. For loving so much to die on that painful cross out of love for such an undeserving person like me. I thank God that eight years later, I am still on this narrow road serving Him, loving Him, and loving others like He asks us too. I thank Him that I haven't strayed and that I am blessed more than I could have asked for. God is good, so so good.

If you are thinking of making such a comitment... don't delay, don't think.... JUST DO IT! It definitely is the best and most important decision you will make. Don't think of the mistakes you will make, don't think of how imperfect you are but instead think of how a perfect God wants to embrace you despite your imperfections. We will always make mistakes and fall down but with God on our side, nothing is impossible. Don't delay, our life is short and can be gone in a moment.

God bless you! <3

p.s. Today I'm 23.5 haha. It's my half birthday! I know it might be weird but still.. ^~^

May

MAY you walk in your purpose

MAY new ideas come to you

MAY you make the necessary changes to succeed

MAY you love without limits

- anonymous -

kdramas.

Korean. Dramas.

Now hold on right there. Before you begin rolling your eyes at me and thinking "oh, great, there she goes again" let me just say that this post is not about how much I loveeeee Korea or Korean guys. But can you blame me? They're so... so...

Ha ha... Anyways moving on.. Yes, they're nice to look at but that's not the point of this. I've received all sorts of hate and disapproval from so many people because I love kdramas. That's actually the reason I went to Seoul, Korea last spring. I wanted to visit the country where they all stemmed from and well that was quite the trip. It was during this trip that I stopped watching Korean Dramas because they had taken over my life, literally!

&& well I took a break for about 6 months but I started missing them. Some days were harder than others and I just wanted to lay on my bed and watch a drama. (I know lame, no social life hehe) When I felt I was strong enough I started watching them again. It was different the second time around because I placed limits on myself. I would come home from work and lay on the couch and watch something. Many people watch movies and television, but dramas were my thing. I felt more "relaxed" after watching them. I would only watch them to get my mind off of things and take a break. I caught myself telling myself this and one day as I was watching them I felt no satisfaction whatsoever. I felt like I was really just wasting my time. As I lay there watching these episodes I felt like they dragged on and I felt an emptiness inside.

Why am I watching this?
I should be more productive. 
This is so pointless. 
I could be doing better things right now.

That emptiness is felt by so many people and it can only be filled by one, JESUS. I was lying to myself saying that I was watching them to relax and what not. God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26) I have no need for anything or anyone else when I have Jesus. He fills me and gives me all the joy I need. He satisfies my soul. These days there are so many things fighting for our attention and our time but we need to prioritize and remember that we are here for one reason only, to serve our King.

Yes, I still may watch them here and there but it's not all I do. And I definitely don't waste my sleep watching them anymore.

Feeling stressed? Overwhelmed? Like you want to forget everything around you for a bit? Don't refuge yourself in other things, in other addictions but instead turn to the Healer himself. I know that's what I needed instead. Because these other things, dramas for me, are only temporary and they still leave that emptiness inside of you.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7

Cancun: A Detailed Account

About two weeks ago I set out with a girlfriend to spend a beautiful 9 days and 8 nights in Cancun, Mexico. It was both of our first time visiting and we were excited about our first adventure together!

We were lucky enough to be guests of someone who owned a timeshare at one of the hotels there. It was quite a luxurious experience. We had a balcony with a wonderful view of the Mexican Caribbean ocean and VIP services, which is a wonderful plus hehehe.

So, our first few days we spent them booking tours for the upcoming week and relaxing by the ocean and pool areas. This turned out to be the only time we got to relax because soon after that we were completely booked and full of activity and exploring. I absolutely loved the clear blue water!! It was surprisingly warm! Many people asked why someone from San Diego, with perfect weather, was in Cancun. Well, it's always nice to visit new places! I spent more time in the water abroad than I do back home!

It seems cloudy but it was pretty warm

Our first adventure began an hour away from the hotel. The tour was called Xel Ha and we also got to visit Tulum. We visited Mayan ruins and learned more about their rich culture. I didn't know their history spread all the way down to Belize and Guatemala. Tulum I believe is also the only location that is close to the ocean. The rest of their locations/villages are in the forest. Xel Ha was a bit disappointing at first because the first attractions were not to our liking and this was the highest ranking tour. Soon enough, we found the adventurous attractions which we came to enjoy and made it all worth it.

FUN STORY: If you know me well enough, you know that I am... clumsy, to say the least. Well, somehow while casually floating on the above inner tube, I fell off. I didn't slightly slip, I completely flipped over... inner tube on top of me and everything. While Laura in front of me laughed I was trying to climb back on top. But being soaking wet and that being rubber, it was quite slippery... I think half way through I managed to get back on it. I was quite embarrassed because there was quite the audience behind me.. smh.. That's just me though.. it definitely wasn't the only thing that happened to me.

This "zip lining" experience was fun
 cause we landed in the water

Or maybe it was him.. hehe jk jk JK

Our next adventure, consisted of us wearing some stylish helmets! xD

XPLOR took zip lining to a different level. I had never been zip lining before and expected it to be one zip line across the open forest. Well... it was 14 towers!! It was quite the workout too. We zip lined from one tower to another and there were many stairs to climb up to those towers! I was huffing and puffing but it was very well worth it. The zip lines were amazing though. They were all different lengths and heights and sometimes we rode together and sometimes alone! I had to ride with Laura on one because I wasn't heavy enough hahaha. There were several that finished in the water so of course we finished drenched.

POST VIDEO:

Me: "I'm not driving anymore"

Laura: "No you have to drive. I like it when you drive, it's so much fun"

I have to admit that this was definitely memorable and caused us to laugh over and over as we replayed it but I wouldn't necessarily want to do it again haha.. 

On this trip we also got to visit one of the Modern Seven Wonders of the World, Chichen Itza. I think this was the hottest day of our trip. We saw the platform where they prepared the bodies to be sacrificed. Did you know those sacrificed were between the age of 12-18? And yes, it was a privilege to be sacrificed... Hmmm.. This day was full of Mayan history and street vendors trying to sell their goods. 

Isla Mujeres and visiting sacred Mayan cenotes, underground rivers, were the last of our trip. It was a wonderful and fun end to a busy week. We got to go snorkeling, kayaking, and swimming. We got lots of swimming done. I'm so glad for those life vests which were a huge help to me. That bottom picture was after a 5 meter cliff jump. I can do the zip lining but straight jumping down was too much. I landed wrong too! 

 Thank you, Cancun, for a much needed vacation. Cancun tends to have a "party" reputation but I thank God for his protection while I was there. I wasn't in a situation where I was surrounded by drunk strangers doing crazy things. Maybe for a lot of people it would've been a let down that no college aged people were around to "party it up" but for me it was a blessing. It was a confirmation of God's shield over my life. We were surrounded by many families. We felt out of place traveling on our own because all we saw were people vacationing as a family. But this led to a family friendly and safe environment! :)

SHOUTOUT to the Hansens who were everywhere, literally! They were a ginormous family who we bumped into all over the hotel and even on our tours! Ha ha

 To you who read this, thank you for taking the time to do so! It felt more like an essay, reflecting back on a blissful vacation. It felt good to put it all into words! Adios, hasta pronto!

c l o u d y ~ d a y s

As of lately I've become completely mesmerized by the beauty of the evening skies or the sky in general. Clouds are quite fascinating to look at. We get so busy running around with our lives that we don't take the time to realize the beauty of the little things. These little things add up to make up God's beautiful and majestic creation.
As I'm driving home in the evenings or driving around from one place to another I've began noticing and appreciating the beautiful skies that surround us. Take a look:

Cumolonimbus clouds 

altocumulus clouds

stratocumulus clouds

I'm no expert in clouds; I simply enjoy looking at them and their many forms. I tried matching them with the correct type but of course, there is always a chance of error. I just wanted to take a moment so that we could take a look and appreciate the beauty of fluffy clouds floating up in the sky around us. From one big fat cloud to many tiny ones clumped together, they create beautiful patterns in the sky. Not to mention how they paint the sky as the sun begins to go down. 

*sigh* Now I get my head up in the clouds; time to start daydreaming... hehehe  ♡ 

Let me start off by apologizing for always writing about work. I'm currently not going to school so my life mostly revolves around work and church.

I'm a caregiver for disabled adults and let me just say it's a stressful job! I love what I do but it can really be a challenge. Some days I come home ready to quit. I want to be there because I have a heart for people with special needs and disabilities but sometimes I don't think I have the patience to stay. Working there is a roller coaster of emotions. On a good day you're loving every aspect of it and all is going well, other days you feel so sad because of their situations and on other days you're just ready to run.
What's even more astonishing is the people who work there. I applied at this job because I've always liked being around people with special needs. I think they are very special and unique people. But I've come to realize that not everybody has the same heart and is here for the same reason. Not everybody has the same level of patience or tolerance for their behaviors. And this is where it gets sad. I once heard someone say "what a waste of a life" when referring to one of our clients. I think I nearly died inside. How could you say something so harsh? So mean, so insensitive! Yes, they can be hard to deal with and they can drive me crazy and give me headaches but that gives us NO right to say something so harsh. I was literally at a loss for words.

What makes us so great to determine who is worthy to live or not? They didn't choose to be disabled. Some of their stories are sad. Not everyone who is disabled was born this way. Some have sad pasts that led to their current situation and some were born this way. One doesn't determine how they are born. You can't decide who is a waste of a life or not. People who are "normal" can live such disastrous lives; it would be suitable to say "what a waste of a life" to them because they are capable to reason and make decisions on their own. Those with special needs are just like kids, innocent. You can't reason with them; they don't understand.

"Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven'" - Matthew 18:2-4